It was a summer evening in san jose, california. I was travelling in a public transport from san jose to milipitas. The bus has got a seating capacity of 30 passangers. Unlike the place I come from (India), buses are mostly free in this part of the world.
There were 7 passengers including me. Three were infront of me (a teenage chinese girl and a young caucasian couple). I dint notice anything about the people behind me. After I sat down, I was looking out through the window for about 5 mins.
Then suddenly, something happening in front of the bus distracted me. The girl was violently shaking her head sideways and occasionally she moving back and forth also !!! I couldn't figure out what was happening. Since she was sitting in front of me, I couldn't see her face.The couple were sitting in front of her in a seat facing sideways. I wanted to know what is happening to her. But I thought it would be awkward to 'go and see' her. I looked at the couple.
I was expecting an expression of 'shock' from them. But they giggled after watching her . I couldn't understand as to what is so funny about that. They were also feeling delicate to see that girl but at the same time I was sure that they were not offended by her behaviour.Then I figured out things.
That girl is listening to songs through an ear phone !!!! She is having her back pack and also a laptop bag. She must be a student. I saw her and then I looked at the couple they also did the same thing. We looked at each other for a fraction of a second and looked away. It was embarrassing for me . I dont know why!! Then I stopped watching her. Even though I tried hard, that girl was shaking her head violently, my attention was drawn towards her time and again. This time I was careful, not to watch 'her performance' for a long time.
But now, like some invisible control, I checked whether the couple is looking at me. They also stopped giggling openly. Still they were whispering to each other whenever they looked at her. As if it is pre-programmed, they started to verify everytime whether I was looking at them.
Then, our minds were not free. I was worried whether they are seeing me watching her. And they were anxious whether, I was seeing them. Here is a girl, who is doing something and people around her are tied to each other through her. Even when she was calm, (when she was listening to a melody...I guess!!!), we couldn't stop what we were doing. My mind was completely aware of those couple and was starting to feel that they are just looking at me. After 15 minutes or so, that girl got down from the bus. We all saw her get down from the corner of our eyes ( not that we are afraid of her, we were feeling delicate to see each other watching her get down..!!). For the rest of my journey, I was watching outside through the window and finally I got down. Then it struck my mind, "after the girl had left, I dint think about them once ". Actually they dint even cross my mind. May be they would have also felt the same thing.
For those 15 minutes, the girl showed what a real freedom is. We were all watching it behind the bars of our egoes, anxieties and prejudices.
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